Friday, June 27, 2014

Lost {5 minute Friday}

i feel lost.
even on a good day.
and i am sure if most will admit, we all feel a bit lost.
even being a strong, steadfast, spirit filled follower of Jesus, i still feel somewhat lost.
i think sometimes the tragedies of life can make us feel lost.
i think sometimes the mundane rituals we have reduced ourselves to can make us feel lost.
even though we are found - believers with an everlasting hope, there is still just a {maybe} tiny part of us that if we could be honest, feels lost.
not knowing where you are or how to get to where you want to go : unable to find your way - that is the definition of being lost.
and i feel that.
how do i get to where i want to be?
how did we even get here?
the word lost is the past participle of lose
did we lose our passion ?
maybe that is why we feel lost ?
we are stuck in a rut?
AW Tozer has a book called "Rut, Rot or Revival"
is that what being lost is?
in a rut, where your choice is to rot or be revived?
even on my lost days, i will choose revival.
even feeling lost i will still choose to see the hope of our calling.
sometimes it is good the experience the feeling of being lost, so you can move to being found.
and that is the promise, that no matter how lost i or you feel, there will always be a found

Thursday, June 26, 2014


he had 4 daughters who prophesied. this is what it tells us in Acts 21.  It was common for women/daughters to be in ministry. and to be telling prophecy.
what I also notice is that prophecy and evangelism went hand in hand. they prophesied in the streets to those who didn't know Jesus or the resurrection. and their churches grew daily. DAILY. not just after an event. but daily.
not after a training, they just prophesied because it was part of their DNA.
they already knew what they were to be doing.
It seems to me, we keep prophesying around the inside of our churches and asking how do we evangelize?
do you see the difference ?
they prophesied AS evangelism.
they didn't need 'another word' inside the church setting, because they already knew what and who they were.
we keep running everywhere to get words to find out what we should be doing ?
they already knew and accepted the mission of following Jesus and were doing it.
They knew that they were a chosen generation, a peculiar people, a royal priesthood set apart for Him, to show forth His glory .
we keep trying to hide all the glory in our four walls and they were bursting forth on the streets with it.
Think of the women at the well. Jesus prophesied to her, evangelized, then she went and evangelized her whole town and they all believed !
it is time to stop hiding under bushels (the walls of our buildings) and let our light shine
it is time to start living out the mission, that has never changed
Ana Mendez Ferrell says in her book "Seated In Heavenly Places" that the very essence of prophecy does not consist of telling each other about the beautiful things that God has for us, but its objective is to reveal the multiple facts of Jesus himself.
So if the spirit of prophecy IS the testimony of Jesus then wouldn't it make sense that prophecy was for telling of Jesus - just like these 4 daughters in Acts did.
maybe that's why Paul said "I wished that you all would prophecy" because it was prophecy was bringing the revelation of Jesus into the world and isn't that what evangelism should be ? bringing the revelation of Jesus into the world?
let's go my friends, let's begin to speak out the testimony of Jesus !

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

if brokeness were a person

I am reading this book by Don Nori called "The Power of Brokenness". Very intense little book about how brokenness is a mystery, who brings healing instead of accusations and builds and does not destroy. So this afternoon I have been pondering the question "what if brokenness was an actual person". would we recognize her or him? would we respond to her ? {I'm sticking with 'her'}

what if those times when we felt the holy spirit nudge us, it was the brokenness part of the holy spirit trying to coax us into a life of brokenness.

what if those moments when I think it is judgement, it is actually a covering of brokenness to bring about the character of 'blessed are the broken' ?

do we even know what brokenness looks like any more?

would we recognize the voice?

would we treat brokenness like we treat everyone one else, the opposite of love and forgiveness.

maybe we need to live a little more broken, a little more repentant, a little more loving instead so that we can hear the cry from brokenness calling us deeper into heart of the Father.

what if brokenness spoke gently tried to bring pain that brought healing

would we respond ?

do we respond ?

brokenness isn't weak, or angry or hopeless

brokenness is full of hope because of our position as sons and daughters, to live a life free and in total hunger for the one who created us. we are all His creation, but not all sons and daughters, that is for those who have chosen brokenness as a companion.

there is blessing in brokenness

there is live vibrant color there. I think the color of Heaven is the color of brokenness.

so brokenness waits for us, with all her wisdom and all her healing for us to respond

if brokenness were a person, would we be friends?

Friday, June 20, 2014

Release {5 minute friday}

Release - action
the word release just brings an action to mind. a cause and effect.
Re - lease
it means:  to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude <release hostages> <release pent-up emotions> <release the brakes>; also :  to let go :  dismiss <released from her job>
  to relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses <was released from her promise>
  to give up in favor of another :  relinquish <release a claim to property>
how about we release some forgiveness. think about it. when I hold someone in un-forgiveness,  I am holding them in restraint, or hostage. when I hold someone in un-forgiveness it confines me and burdens me or bring oppression to me.
it is time to release the captives that we have been holding. To relinquish control over someone by not forgiving them and release the claim on them.
The word tells us that what is bound on earth is bound in heaven. did you ever think that you could be holding forgiveness bound in heaven by not releasing it here on earth. You are basically binding forgiveness by not releasing it. ouch !
so let us be people of release - release the brakes and let go - let go of hurt, disappointment, things people said or did. it doesn't excuse their behavior or make what they did ok. not by any means. but you deserve to be free. you deserve to lie in release.
Doesn't the word spoken just begin to bring freedom to you.
like tons of weights being taken off your back, or hundreds of balloons of cares just floating away.
I release forgiveness over {insert name or names here}. I relinquish control over {insert the situation here}. I set myself free from the restraint of un-forgiveness.
I think this is the only word that the cause and effect are the same - freedom.
that's what I am praying for you today friend as you experience release. I would love to hear from you as you seek release today. leave me a note or comment.
just release.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

serving or a service ?

I have noticed something as we served a lunch at city gate lancaster.
we are missing a generation of laborers. not sure where they are.
 I know they love God and love worship and attend many amazing events. but I am curious where the laborers are.
as I looked around those serving the free lunch in the city, I noticed that I was one of the youngest workers. and I am not young by any means, mid 40's (or 40 is the new 30 so let's go with 28). but I am curious where is the next generation of servers.
could it be that we have replaced serving for sitting? sitting in services ?
while people on the street really just want a sandwich?
maybe to some serving looks like holding a worship concert. which isn't bad, its a good thing. I am a worship leader, so I am all about worship nights and loving on God, but it still doesn't get the homeless guy his meal. or relationship. or shoes.
I think we have had some really good moves of prayer, worship and services, but that still doesn't replace the actual act of serving someone.
so I am praying. to the Lord of the harvest. to send the workers. we need the next generation to rise up not only in worship and prayer, but in serving.
so maybe we need to redefine what serving is?
what a servant does?

here are what others say about serving:

Prayer in action is love, and love in action is service. Try to give unconditionally whatever a person needs in the moment. The point is to do something, however small, and show you care through your actions by giving your time … We are all God’s children so it is important to share His gifts. Do not worry about why problems exist in the world – just respond to people’s needs … We feel what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean, but that ocean would be less without that drop.“- Mother Teresa

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: “If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?” But the good Samaritan reversed the question: “If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?” Martin Luther King Jr

Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things – things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him. – Oswald Chambers

In Matthew 25 it tells us:

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

This always makes  me cry.
why? because I see the least of these every day in the city. at every meal we hand out. with every pair of sneakers we give. and you know what happens after we give to the least of these. they want to meet Jesus.

maybe evangelism needs to look more like serving ?
maybe I am a Moses looking for the Joshuas ?

I just want to be found serving, not sitting

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Free Lunch

today at City Gate Lancaster, we give out a free lunch to over 200 people. these are the hungry, the hurting and the hopeless. not all are homeless, most just hurting and hungry. looking for a friend, relationship, somewhere to be accepted.
Isn't that what we all want?
it makes me think of how hungry am I ?
am I really hungry for the presence of God? do I 'eat' his word like I am commanded to ?
I think sometimes, we as believers come across arrogant, like we have it all together, and 'they' don't. so we need to save and fix 'them".
when really, even on a good day, I am just as hungry as they are
I am just as needy and hurting as they are.
we just act like we aren't, or we don't realize the amount of time we spend outside of God's presence.
we have become to good at, and use to living in a man made environment, where we do many things to make us feel good, and think that is his presence.
I am so hungry for a true manifestation of His glory and His presence as never before.
I am one of the hungry

Monday, June 16, 2014

pains and stings

there are so many times in our lives when a word wrongly spoken stings. even after apologizes have been offered or people have moved on. the sting remains. or the pain. pains and stings. it is hard to not let them take over or control us.
it tells us in proverbs that a scoundrel's lips are like scorching fire. maybe that is why the pain of words sting.
it's funny that way.
it really doesn't matter the amount of time you have given, the amount of life you have shared, or what the friendship or relationship was like prior. it not just stings.
the lesson in this is to watch what you say. we want our words to 'rightly spoken so they are like apples of gold'. full of the love and compassion even in the midst of the pain.
proverbs is a challenge for all of us and I am sure we can see ourselves on both side of the sting or the stinger.
my heart is that we would begin to take the word and apply it to our hearts, to our wounds and to our mouths.
what would it be like if we only used the word of God to speak?
what would it be like if we chose to bless instead of curse?
would the stinging and the zinging stop?

Friday, June 13, 2014


its the challenge word for today's five minute Friday writing
my thoughts run like crazy thinking of who is the messenger?
what is the message?.
what is the message that I would fight for?
the message that I will lay my life for?
we all carry a message.
we don't even have to speak it.
we live it.
as I have been reading the psalms daily, in a summer of psalms challenge, I am realizing that much of our message has been so self centered.
self controlling.
self soothing.
and it isn't helping us at all.
it seems the message that God is speaking, and has been speaking from the ancient days is
that's it.
that's the message.
all the way through the psalms: truly my soul waits for God
my haven I wait for you
my hope comes from God
the righteous wait on You
Oh my strength I wait for You
so that's it
the message
we are all is such a hurry to deliver our own messages, and our own thoughts
is it possible that I don't have hope because I am not waiting
waiting on God for the message?
am I lacking strength because I am not waiting and striving to do it all, be all and give all
without waiting on God?
its kind of a hard message since we really do not want to wait.
we barely can walk away from facebook for a minute from the computer til we check on our phones
no waiting
fast food isn't fast enough
waiting in line or traffic is a HUGE sin
maybe if we waited more, we would hear more and see more
so for me
the message today is

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

summer of psalms

as I and a group from Facebook are journeying through the book of psalms for the month of June, I am really being burned, stretched, challenged, wrecked, lifted, humbled...the list could go on and on.

I am finding the most of our Christian life has been spent in a program driven mentality. Churches offer so many programs that take up so much time, that instead of pushing the word or presence of God, we now know how to manage sin, addiction, divorce, children or work through program driven supplements.

But I am finding and seeking the presence driven. When was the last time we went to a program or event and just waited for the presence of the Lord? No songs with lights. No worked out skit. No topic driven speech. Just waiting.
Would we even know what it felt like?
Do we honestly think that the little goose bumps are his presence? I think they could be a small tiny taste, but it appears that his presence changes you. It changes your prospective, your appearance, your thoughts, your compassion -
His presence caused the atmosphere to change, causing the people to go lower, and lower still..

He is the high and lofty one whose name is Holy. He is high. He is lofty. I am not.

In the program age, we try to bring the Holy and lofty one into the muck and mire with us, while all this time He as been trying to lift us up from the pit, from the miry clay. Yet we are clinging to the slimy mud telling the Lofty One, we have a program to finish.

We need a revival of the heart. A revival of our spirit.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

shaking through the psalms

am literally shaking after reading today - the Word of God is so powerful so consuming.
If I start with proverbs 4 and work backward - it really blows your mind.
God Gives us sound teaching - (his word) and tells us to watch over our heart/mind with all diligence for from it flows the springs of life. How ? by keeping your eyes forward (set on him) looking straight ahead (into the eyes of the father) not swerving - (many will try to sway you away to other things)
But what ...if we took it seriously and prayed prayers like Psalm 20 - with passion and intensity - be reminded by 19 that the teaching of the Lord in perfect - so when I focus on His teaching (word) it creates the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart/mind to be acceptable and pleasing to my rock and redeemer.
 Are we adoring Him with all our strength as in 18, proclaiming Him our strength, fortress, rescuer, rock, shield, mighty champion, haven - wow...what a way to begin prayer and praise !
When I see him as those attributes, then 17 comes into play - I see his faithfulness on display - I see his wonderous deedes - I see myself as the apple of his eye - hiding in the shadow of his wings.
I see and understand 16 that I am ever mindful of the Lord's presence.
And in His presence I find perfect joy. I find the delights that are in His hand.
Can you see how this changes us? how we see God? how we pray ?
 totally shaking

What if we actually took God as His word and He became our teacher ?
What if we focused straight ahead on Him and His promises and power to fill us, to know him, be taught by His Holy Spirit
So far I am seeing that what I need to know comes from knowing Him.
Is it possible that we keep inventing events and conferences to find out how to do things when we really only need to do the one thing that no one wants to do ?
focus our eyes on him, the only teacher that can teach truth
the only teacher that fills me with his words so that I can speak the words he gives me - isn't that prophecy?
isn't that prayer ?
not telling God what I think, but speaking His words so that my heart aligns with His?
and doesn't it all come back to the beginning of psalms 1, being planted in Him, so that I produce fruit in any season - because He is the fruit giver ?

I need this passion and intensity in me , in my prayer life, I need this acknowledgement of who He is - everyday - I adore you Lord - my haven, my mighty champion

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Where ? and How Long?

In this journey for the month of June - we are reading 5 psalms a day and 1 proverb.
it is undoing me. wrecking me
today especially
He is asking Where?
His gaze searches mankind to seek out the righteous
The upright shall behold His face
We ask
How long will I suffer
How long is this going to take
How long - wahhh
He is seeking - where?
Do you trust me with all your heart
Do you trust me in My faithfulness
Will you exalt in MY deliverance (not your own solution-ouch)
Do you remember what I have done for you
The Lord looks down to find a man or understanding
a man mindful of God
we respond
I want to dwell in Your tent
I want to dwell in Your holy mountain
He responds
be without blame
acknowledge My truth
then you will not be shaken
His word is pure
He guards his word to every generation
so, that path is always going to be the same.
He is searching
He is seeking
looking for those that even in the midst of the "how long will it seem like the enemy is winning" will trust in His faithfulness and deliverance.
looking for those who will sing in the trial
worship in the 'length' of it
remember He has been good to me
remember the testimonies of what He has done
Will he find us faithful?
will he find us understanding?
will he find us seeking?

Sunday, June 1, 2014


I find myself grieved this morning as I read the local news.
a young woman jumped from a parking garage to her death.
several fatal shootings.
a local pastor happy, glad and willing to perform same sex marriage.

just kind of sitting here thinking what is going on?

all this while we keep planning events to learn how witness, or find joy or dance to the latest worship hit -
this is going on right outside the door

I am concerned that churches don't see the difference between same sex marriage and a biblical marriage.
the argument that we all deserve the chance to love someone and marry them.
well, I love my cat, does she deserve to be taken care of the same way?
what if I die, who will make sure she gets her shots?
what about the man who lives children, is he allowed to now marry one  ? do what he wants - all in
the name of love?

How can you take do not steal, do not kill, do not murder (all from the bible) and they are laws now in government, and drop the marriage one?
they are all from the same portion of scripture

is it possible we have no idea what Love is?
who Love is?
have we lived such perverted love lives that we have reduced love to this?

what has happened to us?

so I am grieved

thinking of the girl who just lost her life
thinking of my cousin, whose husband took his life
thinking of those being led to believe that love makes it ok to do whatever you want

yet we keep having events and rallies and lights and stages

so I am grieved