Tuesday, August 6, 2013

depths and heights

I had a dream the other day.
It was either a dream or a vision and I was either in body or spirit,
I do not know.
But this is what I do know.
It changed me. Confirming my hearts desire.
I was at City Gate Prayer Room, doing something I don't often do.
I was soaking. Just laying on the floor listening to worship. True worship.
I would say that I experienced worship in Spirit and Truth as I lay still.
Sometimes worship isn't all about shouts and dancing, its about stillness and quiet.
So I was laying there and I began to see the ocean.
Like the picture above, I was swimming in the beauty of the ocean.
seeing everything. It was clear and beautiful.
I saw all kinds of life. Fish. Sharks. Coral.
I saw the light coming through. And the water was so clear!
I could see for miles in every direction.
Everywhere I looked, I could see.
In every direction I saw light and life.
I felt light and lift.
I felt safe and loved.
Even with sharks swimming around, I wasn't worried or scared.
I was just swimming or more like floating all around.
Then I saw this dark circle.
I wasn't afraid of the dark circle because I knew it was part of the ocean.
It was calling out to me, to go deeper.
I felt like I was to go deeper into the depth of the ocean
where you can't see. The part that biologist talk about. Where we don't know what is there.
The deepest part where light doesn't get to, but there is still life down there.
I swam or floated towards the dark circle. Well, the circle wasn't dark, it was what was beyond the circle.
I knew if I went through, I would not know what was there.
Here in the ocean, I was safe because I could see.
Through the circle, I knew I wouldn't be able to see if a shark was next to me.
But, it was alluring me to come.
I knew I had to swim through.
As I approached, I felt the tension in myself. I actually felt the moment of panic before
the "here we go".
I didn't even have time to react or respond before my head went through, and I literally felt
that feeling of a roller coaster ride?
That drop you get when the coaster goes sailing down the big first hill?
Into the dark I went, woosh.
I looked around and saw I was in this dark place, but it wasn't dark like I though the depth of the ocean would be.
there was light there...little lights all around.
I wasn't in the ocean depths like I thought.
 I was in the cosmos.
Going down into the depth of the ocean, had actually brought me to the heights of the Cosmos.
"Come up here" ran through my mind. "Come up here so I can show you the mysteries."
All of a sudden I knew.
In my prayer to go deeper, God was taking me higher.
As I wanted to know the depths of God, His Word, Love and Life,
He took me high !
It is like the ocean and the cosmos connected in that moment, and as I went down in my swimming,
God took me upward to the cosmos.
The depth and the heights connect.
The deeper we go, the higher He takes us.
What a beautiful revelation.
When we give up the safety of what we know, God takes us to where He knows.
the depths become the heights.
I am forever changed.
 
 
 
 


Friday, July 26, 2013

broken

today I feel a little broken.
not heart broken or physically. almost a cross between emotionally and spiritually.

why?
I have been reading about the culture of revival. In having a prayer room in Lancaster City, I often prayer for revival. but do we really know what that is? do we understand revival.

it isn't an event. it isn't a huge tent and a great worship band.
it isn't an outreach or evangelism.
and it definitely isn't going to a planned church meeting 5 nights in a row.

it is love.
simple love.

and what is love.
it is Jesus himself.
Love came down

Gypsy smith tells of a group of pastors that wanted to know how to start revival. First of all revival begins on your knees is prayer. How do we begin, they asked. Gypsy drew a big circle on the ground in chalk, stepped inside the circle and said: if you want revival, get in the circle, and pray to the God of Love to let the revival begin inside the circle.

it is love
simple love

revival is love
it is me, getting back to the basic of love, of turning my heart toward love, toward Jesus.
getting in the circle and not getting out until love comes down and rescues

Love is patient - that means it is slow, it takes time and takes its time
Love is kind - which means it is nice, not rude or sarcastic.

so love is slowing down and being nice.
and for some reason this has broken me.

I pray for revival , but in a hurry and then I am not nice while driving home.

I want to slow down, let love burn, let it leave its mark in me and on me. set its seal upon my heart
I want to be nice, because love is nice, it is kind. not a doormat, but kind. I think this generation has lost its nice.

so I feel broken
but I will get in the circle and pray for love
slowing down and being nice

it is love
simple love

Monday, July 22, 2013

hunger and thirst

hunger is a funny thing, isn't it.
you feel like you will die if you don't eat
you can feel the hunger pains, and they are painful
same with thirsting.
your tongue feels like dry leather
but there is no water in sight
it is painful
it is persistent, unrelenting
hunger and thirst.
 
blessed are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they will be filled.
 
the point of hunger and thirst, is to be filled, but in the natural or physical sometimes there just isn't a filling.
there is no water
no food
can you imagine no chocolate or coffee?
 
on my journey through the beatitudes or attitudes, I am struck today with hunger and thirst.
 
how easy it is if I want coffee to get up and run to my keurig and grab a cup.
 
is it that easy to grab my fill of
righteousness?
 
do we know what righteousness is?
 
if we read this correctly, we are to hunger and thirst after it, so we should probably understand what it is.
 
it isn't salvation
it isn't being morally good
 
it isn't wanting more healing, or more presence (which are excellent things)
 
it's a starving
it's a starving for right standing with God
 
you can be filled
you can have as much of God as you want.
 
it's a spiritual progression through these attitudes of the mountain code
we are meant to hunger and thirst.
to be free from sin in all its forms and in every manifestation.
to walk, as in the beginning, naked and unashamed with God
to be free from the power of sin, and the desire for sin
 
its the longing to be positively holy
 
when we hunger and thirst for this,
we are filled
we are filled with the fullness of God
 
hunger hurts and is painful
 
is this who we are?
are we hungering painfully and thirsting painfully after righteousness?
 
are we filled?
are you filled?
 
 
 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

you deserve to live free

unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
 
we can't live like this.
that isn't free
its always in a state of judgment and hurt
 
do you want your heart open and allowing the river of God to flow freely?
do you want to flow freely?
then my friend,
you must forgive,
repent and forgive
a heart that is free has resources for others.
if you aren't free, you will always be trying to take from others
 
unforgiveness saps your energy and your resources
it makes you unable to really go after God with abandon
why?
its locked up inside of you with issues of repentance and forgiveness
 
when someone hurts us, and they will, usually the closer someone is to us, the more they hurt us, we get into a pattern of thinking wrong thoughts and judgmental thoughts
 
we can't fulfill the call of God to love our neighbor if all our energy is used in keeping wrong thoughts about people and issues
 
our thoughts and attitudes and words can hinder us from moving freely in the grace of Christ
 
you deserve to be free
 
every negative thought is always of the enemy and every positive, life giving, up building thought is always from the Holy Spirit
 
the accuser accuses, while the Comforter comforts
its that simple and yet profound
 
so where are your thoughts?
 
we need to refrain from judging one another and instead bless and forgive so that life will flow
 
when we accuse, we come into agreement with satan, the accuser
 
Jesus said in Matthew 7, do not judge or you will be judged in the same manner and the same measure
 
do you believe Jesus' words?
Jesus is saying if you demand justice and repayment for wrong done to you, then you will be dealt with the same according to your own prescription
 
justice is good
mercy is better
 
mercy forgives
 
if you want justice, you will be dealt with by the same rules.
there is a place to go that satan cannot follow and accuse.
the place of grace
the place of mercy, love and forgiveness
 
if we live in grace and mercy, satan cannot follow us there, he has no rights there. did you know that if you spend 80% of your time in judgement and unforgiveness then the enemy has a right to beat you up 80% of the time?
 
if I want justice because someone hurt me, then I cannot ask for mercy for myself
God is calling us, into this place of repentance and forgiveness
because we deserve to live free